~CLARITY~
I been waitin for the sky to fall
cus everything feels right
spent so many days in darkness
that I just can't stand the light....
two steps forward one step back...slow progression to my present leaves me longing for the past...there is a comfort in the knowing that I'll never make it past...Dreaming of a brighter future, cus the cards I got are bad...and if I hope for no progression, I'll be happy where I'm at...But here we go, I get this blessing and I'm looking for the catch...cus nothin ever comes this easy, so I'm waiting to fall back... see, self-sabotage engrains itself into my very soul...cus if I sabotage myself, then I can say it's what I chose... Holding on to what control I have, makes me feel in control... like I control the shovel, diggin, while I'm stadin in the hole... cus aint nobody gonna lay me down, I put myself into the ground, and say I made it so...But my pride is like a frenemy, and I gotta let it go...
cus...
I been waitin for the sky to fall
cus everything feels right
spent so many days in darkness
that I just can't stand the light....
Spent so many days in bondage, that my freedom feels like chains... Like a slave with walkin papers, handin masta' back the reins...longing for familiarity of cracking whips and chains....cus without the weight of bondage, feel like I might float away... it's so easy to stay grounded when you're livin on your knees... pray for deliverance, but really it's more habit than belief... it's been so long that I'm accustomed to the wanting and the need... But if I didn't give up hope, I'd have my hope taken from me... so how do I begin to walk upright when I been weighted down?... how do soldiers give up fighting, when the horns of peace resound... I am in post-traumatic stress from the blessings I receive...P.O.W to the war between belief and disbelief...My comfort zone is under siege, and there's no seals to save the day...I am a prisoner of my own desire to remain a slave...
cus...
I been waitin for the sky to fall
cus everything feels right
spent so many days in darkness
that I just can't stand the light....
~TEDDI B.